One thing that I have noticed about parenting, is that in all my efforts to figure any of it out: the sleeping patterns, the eating patterns, what makes him throw a tantrum, how he likes his food arranged... it seems that whenever I think I have cracked the code, my children change.
When my son was an infant, there was a period when I wrote down the time and duration of every nap and night waking. I guess I thought if I could decipher a pattern, I would have the power to change the situation to better fit my life. After gathering enough data, I would sit and stare intently at the numbers, waiting for patterns to emerge. Nothing. No repetition, rhyme or reason. So with my second baby, I did the opposite. I ditched the clock in my bedroom (now I have no idea when or how many times my little one wakes for a nighttime nurse), and we ditched the attempt at a napping schedule. This has drastically improved the flow of the day. (hint: If there is no expectation of a nap at 9a, then there is no disappointment when it doesn't happen!) When we are able to accept the day as it is and lose our unrealistic expectations, we often find more room for joy in unexpected blessings.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
There Will Be Time
Just wanted to share this beautiful poem I read in Mothering by Peggy O'Mara
There is time still for sitting in cafes in Paris sipping wine. Time still for going to meet the guru. There is time still. Now I am caring for eternity. Carrying bodies soft with sleep to beds of flowered quilts and pillows. Answering cries deep out of nighttime fears. Buckling shoes. Opening doors. Pretending. My soul now is dwelling in the house of tomorrow. Tomorrow there will be time for long leisurely conversations, for poems to write, and dances to perform. Time still. So I surrender now to them and this, knowing it is they who will teach me how to do it all.
There is time still for sitting in cafes in Paris sipping wine. Time still for going to meet the guru. There is time still. Now I am caring for eternity. Carrying bodies soft with sleep to beds of flowered quilts and pillows. Answering cries deep out of nighttime fears. Buckling shoes. Opening doors. Pretending. My soul now is dwelling in the house of tomorrow. Tomorrow there will be time for long leisurely conversations, for poems to write, and dances to perform. Time still. So I surrender now to them and this, knowing it is they who will teach me how to do it all.
Ah, Life!
I suppose this is the first launching of my inner-most thoughts and secrets of my soul into the internet abyss. Before I plunge in, let me explain myself briefly.
I am a scientist by training, and believe myself to be a rational, sensible, down-to-earth individual. Though, I will admit that I am an optimist at heart, I enjoy spontaneity, and I am somewhat of a dreamer. I am often immersed in one search for truth or another - truth in science, in religion, in my relationships, in myself. After giving birth to my son, I came to several realizations - one being that mothering is much less rational that I had anticipated. Being well-informed is paramount, but knowledge can only take you so far. And like most fields of knowledge - every parenting professional has a different theory about your child's truth.
In my quest for truth in mothering, I have found that it often requires taking a leap of faith - faith in our partners, in our God, and particularly in ourselves. If we can find the time and energy to really listen to our intuition - we may find that our truth was residing there all along.
I am a scientist by training, and believe myself to be a rational, sensible, down-to-earth individual. Though, I will admit that I am an optimist at heart, I enjoy spontaneity, and I am somewhat of a dreamer. I am often immersed in one search for truth or another - truth in science, in religion, in my relationships, in myself. After giving birth to my son, I came to several realizations - one being that mothering is much less rational that I had anticipated. Being well-informed is paramount, but knowledge can only take you so far. And like most fields of knowledge - every parenting professional has a different theory about your child's truth.
In my quest for truth in mothering, I have found that it often requires taking a leap of faith - faith in our partners, in our God, and particularly in ourselves. If we can find the time and energy to really listen to our intuition - we may find that our truth was residing there all along.
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